sometimes i look back and think back and i know why things happen. but there will always be something unexplainable. and that something irritates me. and although i know the reason. i simply dont like it! why must it happen to me? why choose me? why must it be this way? why cant i take control of it? why must i be the one? why is it that it only happens to me?

well of course there are worse things that could happen. and there are worse things happening to people around me. but... there are also good things happening to people around me where they are having such a great time living up life. why cant i be one of them? why cant i swap fates with them?

i dont believe in fate. i believe we control our own destiny by the choices we make. but its just so hard to NOT believe fate when u see all these things happening around u.